Family matters
One of the greatest advantages that cancer patients have when they are fighting cancer is a strong support system. Patients whose families are involved from the beginning of their diagnosis and whose families truly care always seem to do better throughout their illness. There have been times in my practice that I have had patients who have not wanted to tell their families about their diagnosis to “not burden them”. I always try to counsel these patients that the support & the care that they can receive from children, spouses, other family members and friends can make all the difference in terms of how they are able to ultimately handle their therapy. I’ve always found it sad that patients can go through their entire battle with cancer and never be accompanied to a single office visit by a family member. There have been at times when children of family members have come in the last week of the patient’s life not knowing how ill their parent may be and seemingly shocked that their loved one is about to die.
Several years ago I had a lady who was diagnosed with metastatic breast cancer, I met her on her first visit by herself. I talked to her about her disease and her prognosis, which was not good. I asked about family and she indicated that she didn’t want to burden her husband or her children with her disease. I tried to explain to her that it was going to be impossible for her family not to know that she was ill and that having them involved in her care and supporting her through her illness would be a great benefit. Over the next year and half, as she battled her terminal disease, she was never accompanied to any of her appointments by any of her family. In the last few weeks of her life, her husband and daughter showed up at one of her visits, it was the first time that I had met either of them. After speaking with the patient and talking about the symptoms that she was having, the patient went on to receive her next therapy in the chemo room. Both her husband and daughter asked to speak to me after the patient had left. They were stunned and shocked at my expectation that the patient had only a few months to live, they were angry and hurt. They felt like they would have tried to have made the last year much different and would have spent a greater amount of time with the patient. This situation was so sad. I have continued to encourage my patients to allow their family members to be a part of their treatment, and to help as much as they can in getting them through because family really does matter.

This is truly a pleasure to have some insight from a person involved on the other side of this problem.
I have never thought I would want anyone to know I was battling cancer , so you input is another side of the story. Thanks for your time.
dinah
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